How to Comfort a Crying Baby: Calm-Down Strategies | Parenting Hub
When you've checked the basics and baby is still crying, what next? A simple toolkit of soothing techniques and reminders for parents too.
When baby is crying and you've checked the basics, it can feel hopeless. Here's a calm, evidence-informed toolkit — and reminders to look after yourself too.
Start with the basics
Quick check-list before reaching for soothing techniques.
- Hungry — offer a feed
- Wet or dirty nappy
- Too hot or too cold (feel chest or back of neck)
- Uncomfortable — clothing tags, hair tourniquet on a finger/toe
- Tired — try settling for sleep
- Bored or needing connection
The 5 S's (Dr Harvey Karp)
A widely used soothing sequence for under-3-month-olds.
- Swaddle — wrap firmly with arms in, hips loose, until baby can roll
- Side or stomach position (in your arms only, never for sleep)
- Shush — loud white noise close to baby's ear
- Swing — small, fast rhythmic movement
- Suck — breast, finger, or dummy
Other things that often help
Different babies prefer different things — try one for a few minutes before switching.
- Skin-to-skin contact
- A walk in the carrier or pram
- A warm bath together
- Going outside — change of scene and air often resets crying
- Singing or humming low in the chest
- Reducing stimulation — dim lights, quiet room
About 'PURPLE crying'
From about 2 weeks to 3–4 months, many babies have a period of unexplained crying that peaks at 6–8 weeks. It's normal, time-limited and not your fault. PURPLE stands for Peak around 2 months, Unexpected, Resists soothing, Pain-like face, Long-lasting, Evening — to remind parents this pattern is recognised.
Look after yourself
A calm parent is the best soother — and you matter.
- If you feel overwhelmed, put baby safely in the cot and step away for 5 minutes
- Never shake a baby — even gentle shaking can cause serious brain injury
- Call a partner, friend or family member to take over
- Speak to your GP, maternal child health nurse, or PANDA (1300 726 306) if crying is affecting your mental health
When to see a doctor
See your GP if crying is sudden, prolonged, high-pitched or different from usual; or if baby is off feeds, has fever, or looks unwell.
When to seek urgent care
Inconsolable crying for more than 2 hours, high-pitched or weak cry, fever in a baby under 3 months, vomiting or pale/floppy baby — same-day medical assessment.
When to seek help
- Inconsolable crying for more than 2 hours
- High-pitched, weak or unusual cry
- Fever in a baby under 3 months
- Refusing feeds or vomiting
- Pale, floppy or unresponsive
Common questions
Can I spoil a young baby by holding them too much?
No. Responding to a young baby's cries builds secure attachment. You can't spoil a baby with love or cuddles.
What if I can't cope with the crying?
Put baby safely in the cot, step away for a few minutes, and call someone. Reach out to your GP, MCH nurse, or PANDA (1300 726 306). You're not alone.