Stranger Anxiety in Babies: Stages & How to Help | Parenting Hub
Stranger anxiety usually starts at 6–9 months and is a healthy sign of attachment. Here's what's normal and how to help your baby feel safe.
Around 6–9 months, the same baby who smiled at everyone now buries their face in your shoulder. Stranger anxiety is a sign of a healthy attachment, not shyness or 'spoiling'.
When it happens
- Starts: 6–9 months
- Peaks: 9–15 months
- Eases: usually by 2 years (returns briefly with big changes)
How to help
- Stay close — let new people approach slowly while you hold baby
- Ask visitors not to scoop baby up straight away
- Get down to baby's level and introduce the person calmly
- Don't apologise for the tears — it's a healthy stage
- Allow time at family gatherings before passing baby around
When to see a doctor
Mention to your GP or MCH nurse if distress around any non-parent (including familiar grandparents or carers) is severe and not easing by age 2–3, or if your baby seems generally unsettled, not feeding well or losing skills.
When to seek help
- Severe inconsolable distress with familiar carers past 2 years
- Loss of previously gained social skills
- Avoiding all eye contact even with parents
Common questions
Will it hurt grandparents' feelings?
Explain it's a normal stage — a sign baby is bonding well, not rejecting them. Time, patience and gentle play usually win them over within a few visits.
Should I push baby to be held by others?
No. Forced separation increases anxiety. Let baby set the pace; warmth and familiarity build trust faster than exposure.